For every heartbeat, I wanted things to go my way
Sacrificing was never my interest
And love was alien to me
Until we met
From then on, I knew
That loving means understanding
and not letting pride stop you from caring a person.
That in order to fully love someone,
I must be selfless,
And I must stop looking at the stars up above
For in front of me lies the universe’s most beautiful star
That sustains my existence.

Everytime I hurt you I want to say sorry to myself,
Because everytime I hurt you, I hurt myself even more.
Funny how one moment I push you away,
And embrace you the next like I’m some kind of a bipolar.
I guess it’s a test I give myself
One that I will fail over and over again
For without you, I am nothing.

What makes me so sure that someday you’ll leave?
Remember that human beings are never satisfied
They are continuously scurrying.
Remember that I am Alien and I will forever love you.
If you leave, I wait.
I will stay in the chiasm of holding on and letting go
And uncross our stars just to have you back.
Forever, I will wait.

 

July 17th, 2009 by Jan Suing Jan Suing is a former editor-in-chief of The Lamp, the Official Student Publication of the Far Eastern University Institute of Nursing. He's a deist, a fan of Nietzsche, a movie buff and currently the epitome of quarter-life crisis. www.twitter.com/juansuing